Melt

There is snow on the ground-of the powdered sugar variety-and yet the warmth of the concrete won't let it claim any real estate on its gray face. Our entire apartment has filled up with the scent of baked bread-a vast improvement from the smell of nothing which resided here before.
And I am in a new place. I am melting. I am trying ever so hard to thaw out the plans that I have made for my life. The ones that crowd out His voice. The ones that send me in a tailspin because I cannot make it happen now.

Roses are red
for a very good reason
and I am not God
not this nor any other season...


So I will continue to treasure these days of bread baking, honeycomb knitting, and lily white snow on the ground and bank on the fact that He will let me in on my future...when I am pliable...when I have melted.

I've a baby....

There are days, in this journey we're on, that seem to last a bit too long.
Days when I feel the need for my husband who's been twelve hours gone.
Nights when our baby's fussing isn't quieted by my song.

But I've a baby....oh yes!
She's lovely and sweet and continues to impress
upon me the need to lay down my duress
at the foot of my king who removes the stress

from my brow
relaxed now
for I've a baby...oh yes! I've a radiant princess....

Honey

I transferred honey from plastic to glass.
And as I watched it drip
                               drip
                                            drip
I hummed and wore a grin
thinking
My joy feels as thick as this honey
   and as full up to the brim!

 

Exodus...

There is a part in the beginning of the book of Exodus in which Moses hears from God through a burning bush.

Crazy.

Then God commissions him to go to Egypt and find all the elders of the Israelite nation.

Crazy difficult.

Then he has to convince them that "I AM" sent him and he is going to lead them out of slavery.

Crazy impossible.

All the while he has a wife whom he has to explain all of this to. Then convince to come along on the journey. Then complete this insanely, impossible, mission exacted by "I AM".

Crazy faith.

That brings us to where Isaac and I find ourselves. In between the land of crazy and impossible. We are at the threshold of our exodus.

We are sick of the hamster wheel demanding life for pay. And if we had a acre for every time someone told us "welcome to the working world"..this would be a blog about gardening instead of a family seeking to garden!

For the first two glorious years of our marriage we were almost constantly together. Our proximity to each other was never interrupted by longer than 2-3 hours. It was paradise. It was, what we felt, marriage should be, for us. We didn't understand the idea of marrying your best friend, separating for 8-10 hrs. a day, for the better part of your lives, then returning to each other at the end of 50 years just to watch each other fade. 

++Now I must post here that I recognize that this works for many people. More importantly, God has called many to live this out. I am not denigrating that lifestyle. I am saying that this does not seem to be the path that my spouse and I are called to tread.

We feel like the first step is complete. Moving to our land of milk and honey-Iowa.

I am, by no means, comparing the geographies of Iowa to that of the desert. But I am most certainly claiming the hope to find freedom here.

We are embarking upon the beginning of our journey....

Phase 1: Dream

Phase 2: Prepare for that dream to become

         reality

Phase 3: Leap off of the hamster wheel, run

         with intensity toward the dream

Where we find ourselves is making our way through phase one...but we are anxiously awaiting the day we get to become hamsters on the run....